Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
