When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
