3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
