He is an equal opportunity slut.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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