we have pet lesbian snakes
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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