I wanna bring you to show and tell
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
