I just pynch a tree in the face
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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