hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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