we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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