I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
