i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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