Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
