A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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