so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize