i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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