like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
