More tranny stories later!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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