he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
