Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
