just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
