her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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