we have officially lost it.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just had sex bonerless
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
