So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
