Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
