Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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