He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
