from now on my penis is your penis
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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