forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
