if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
