Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
