In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
