Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
