Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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