you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
