I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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