So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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