Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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