I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Alive.
So much puke
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
