I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize