Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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