At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
where are my eyebrows?
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