You're so nebulous sometimes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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