Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I need to stop coming to work sober
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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