She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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