I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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