I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
