Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
