I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
tell me about the eggs
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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