It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
