I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
