About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
