I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
