I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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