I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
