i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize