You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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