Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
