I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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