Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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