dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
