i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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