It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
