maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize