just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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