Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
