i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
