Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
