So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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